Peer Editing Feedback -Emmy Burns
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? She does a good job of addressing all aspects of the story
2. What additional sources might the author use? perhaps exerpts from book reviewers/critics, because she talks about the reaction from Time and entertainment weekly.
Does the lead involve you in the story? yes, she discusses how it's hard to describe the books she loves, which draws a parallel to the insane phenomenon that is twilight
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? no, she doesn't necessarily have a scene, but some of hte people she interviews discuss where they are/what they are doing when they are reading the books
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? I'd like to hear more of her personal feelings about the book and their effect on her
Peer Feedback- Jessica Karam
1. What are some areas that could use more detail? She could add in more detail with statistics about success rates of new years resolutions
2. What additional sources might the author use?
Does the lead involve you in the story?
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)?
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
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